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Sunday, July 17, 2016

Eyes

Eyes is the first of my late night writings to leave my journal

her eyes were the window into her heart and soul
she could never hide
what she was feeling inside

young, wide eyed, bright, alive with curiosity
constantly searching, looking, learning

older, sadder eyes, dark and empty
yet filled with a yearning
yearning to be loved, noticed, no longer alone

she gave up, it showed in her eyes
behind that hard smile
her eyes turned to stone
no one came, no one saved her

Thursday, June 16, 2016

It's Been A While

I'm sorry that I keep forgetting about this blog that I haven't posted in a while. It's hard to keep up with a blog, and I didn't realize this when I first started it. This was a fun thing that me and my best friend decided to try, and I really enjoy blogging; I'm just crap at keeping up with it. What can you do?
So, what has happened since that last post promising pictures from a hangout with my "besties"? Well, that sleepover happened, and pictures were taken. I just kinda forgot about posting them, not gonna lie. Tayloranne, Angel, Rachael, and I continued to talk like "old times" for a while. Angel and I, however, had drifted so far apart that any hope of rekindling our friendship for good was not possible. I hate that, because it would've been good to have our old friendship back. But life is shit sometimes, and now its 11 o'clock at night a week before my 17th birthday, and my three best friends aren't coming over to my house next week to chill like they did a year ago. Honestly though, it's for the best that Angel and I aren't friends anymore. Our lives are just headed in two different directions, and it was better to let our friendship naturally drift apart rather than force it. I wouldn't mention her name like this if I hadn't when I first made this blog. I put her in as one of my best friends, and I just feel obligated to say that our friendship just didn't work out.
Tayloranne and I
I am still friends with Tayloranne and Rachael. I trust those two with my life. I don't want to jinx anything, but honestly, those two are my best friends. Over the past year Tayloranne and I have continued to grow closer, and Rachael and I have a rock solid friendship that I wouldn't trade for the world. I know this sounds eerily similar to things I have said before referring to all three of them, but I feel that those two are gonna stick around for a while.
Rachael, Lexi, and I
After all that happened, I found out my sister was pregnant, and that I was going to be an aunt, and that was one of the best moments in my life. My sister and my brother in law were hoping for a little boy, but I knew it was going to be a little girl, and so did my mother, but no one else believed us, they all said it was going to be a boy. However when Cheyenne went for the gender scan, it showed that she was having a girl. My mom and I went crazy buying cute things for that precious little girl, and meeting her was the best day of my life. I was in the beginning of my first class of the day when my mom told me her water had broken, and I freaked. My dad got me out of school and we flew to the hospital. Turns out the little booger wouldn't be born till 7:45 at night. We didn't get to meet her until around 9 o'clock, and I cried. She was ((and still is)) perfect. Little Paisley has her Aunt HaHa wrapped tight around her finger. And no, I didn't choose the nickname.
Well, that's a wrap on my little life update. I'll be back with another post soon about college and how fucking terrified I am.